Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
