I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
