i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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