i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
