no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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