hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
May the power of my ass compel you!!
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
