Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Randomize
