it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
