yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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