The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
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