So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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