so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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