so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I just googled if crying burns calories
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
