I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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