you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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