she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
