I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
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