big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
