he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
You have to summon your inner elephant
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
