I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Randomize
