she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
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Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
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I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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