we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
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