Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
false alarm. still invincible.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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