counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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