Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
