Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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