he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
