His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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