That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
my mouth tastes like poor choices
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize