Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
This baby is an asshole
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
