i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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