So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
