True but thats because hes a fetus.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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