i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.