"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
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We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
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So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.