He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
