Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Randomize
