I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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