If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
