i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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