I think I just saw someone hide a body.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
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