I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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