I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Randomize
