The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize