I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
