Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
