They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
