is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
