I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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