This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
