I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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