I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
