There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
