What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
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