I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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