I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
