Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
