They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
