OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
