how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
my being single is dangerous.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
