Will you blow on my dice?
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Randomize
