btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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