I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
